The Carlton-Hart Awkwardness

My deepest apologies for allowing another new SuperMegaNet episode to leak unto the Interwebs. I’m currently working with local law enforcement to get it removed as quickly and with as little collateral damage as possible. In the meantime, the obligatory excerpt:

I follow Thrill-Kill down the hall. But instead of heading toward her office, we end up in the teacher lounge.

“Budget cuts,” she explains on seeing my curious expression. “The Boca Linda administration believes it’s more cost-effective for my office to be hosted on a SuperMegaNet server. Meanwhile, the football team just got new uniforms. Priorities.”

We sit at an empty table toward the back, and Thrill-Kill takes out her phone, fires up the SuperMegaNet app and hits “visit”—

—delivering us onto a cheesy RKO jungle treehouse movie set.

In black and white.

With me skinned as Tommy Carlton, she as Dorothy Hart—you know, Joey and Jane, from those ancient Tarzan movies?

W. T. F.

The premise: Theo loses his shirt (and gains a skin) during an awkward counseling session with Mrs. Thrailkill. Read the full episode here.

The Beginning

New Sunny Buns posted—in which the difference between nudity and sex is explained through a relevant Piers Anthony example.

It can be a difficult concept to grasp. People hear that you and your parents like to hang out naked, and they immediately picture a scenario from some steamy incest sex story. But nudity and sex are two completely different things. Most textiles (that’s how nudists jokingly refer to the clothed, by the way) don’t get this. Their only exposure to nudity is the porn they look up on the Internet, and so they grow up equating nakedness with sex. They’re turned on by every breast, butt, cock, or cunt they see online or around town. They spend their teen years trying to forge relationships based on pussy instead of personality.

Sunny Buns

I’m starting a new webserial this month called Sunny Buns. The official blurb goes a little something like this:

Fresh out of high school, and clueless as to what he wants to do with the rest of his life, Brandon Flammer takes on a summer job at a nudist resort—where a chance encounter with a random girl results in his waking the next morning to find he’s lost more than just his virginity: he’s lost the ability to wear clothes.

And that’s just the start of his troubles.

This one’s different in that it’s a little darker, and there’s more of an actual plot to it rather than the “let’s see where this goes” attitude behind SuperMegaNet. And there are a lot more naked people. Anyway, the first episode is up. At the risk of putting my foot in my mouth, let’s see where this goes…


New SuperMegaNet posted at the expense of needy third-world children:

Dropping onto my hands and knees, I peer under the stall doors—at just about the exact same moment two more boys decide to enter the restroom. With cockroach-like reflexes, I scurry into the third-from-left stall, which is empty, and freeze in place, listening, waiting, hoping to God no one saw me. Jeans are unzipped; the sound of urine trickling echoes against the tiled walls; in the stall beside mine, someone’s ass puffs the word “bouffant!” during a bowel movement.

The premise: Theo learns the hard way that an ounce of cure is worth a pound of cock. Well, not really. I just wanted to say that. Read the full episode here.

Murphy’s Likelihood

SuperMegaNet, ep. 92 is up. Yes, that’s Mini quoting a line from the awesomeness that is Rush’s “BU2B.”

Begin pimptext:

“Murphy’s Likelihood,” Mini continues, “is an offshoot of Murphy’s Law. Where Murphy’s Law dictates that what can go wrong, will go wrong, Murphy’s Likelihood states that what goes wrong will occur sooner rather than later. Let’s say you get a new pair of glasses. The odds are high that you’ll damage them in some way at least once in the first year of ownership. The odds are even higher that you’ll damage them in the first half of said year rather than in the second half. Especially if you can only afford to replace your glasses once a year. That’s Murphy’s Likelihood.”

The premise: When Jan inadvertently flashes Beta and Mini, the duo explain to him the intricacies of Murphy’s Likelihood. Read the full episode here.

No Substitutions

Looks like another SuperMegaNet episode just slipped past quarantine:

Look at Jan 2.0. The jockettes are all over him, oohing and awing and squeezing his biceps, palpitating his pecs, literally absorbing him like two giant girl-shaped amoebas. I’ve let them have that side of the table—not because they ousted me or anything, but because I prefer this side. Always have. And anyway, I don’t need to be all up in Janny Boy’s shit. So with his fancy new skin he’s ditched his ridiculous orange frizz for a natural brown buzzcut. So he’s sporting a pair of earring studs. So his physique is all American Ninja Warrior. I don’t see what the fuss is about. It’s not like he can turn water into soda or feed the entire cafeteria with a single loaf of Hawaiian bread.

Crap. I could go for a loaf of Hawaiian bread right about now.

The premise: The gang acclimates to having lunch with Virtual Jan. Meanwhile, Theo defends his decision not to buy Ernie any snacks. Read the full episode here.