Where in the World is Jan Kounicova?

New SuperMegaNet:

“To what do we owe the unpleasant surprise?”

“We thought Eva could use a little company,” Summer replies.

“She’s already got company—” The lid pops off of Ernie’s pudding cup; banana cream spurts into his face, infiltrating eyes, mouth, and nostrils.

Eva’s jaw drops.

“I meant company in the non-satirical sense,” Summer snickers.

Ernie sets down his now-empty pudding cup and, with as much dignity as one can muster while wearing impromptu facial food, asks, “Did you practice that in front of your mirror this morning?”

“Nope. Made it up on the spot.”

“Charming. Get me a napkin.”

The premise: An exploding pudding cup, a jockette ambush, and Virtual Jan—this is not the way Theo expected to spend his lunch hour. Read the full episode here.

Doing Vangelis Doing John Williams

The ET theme as done by Vangelis done by Muted Vocal

(Via Classic FM.)

I totally agree:

A YouTuber named Muted Vocal has decided that there’s no good reason why [ET’s “Flying Theme” and Vangelis’ “Chariots of Fire”] shouldn’t exist in perfect harmony, in the same piece. And who are we to argue?

And while Muted Vocal’s rendition is nothing to scoff at, as far as uber-talented Vangelis fanboys go, I’ll always have a special place in my heart for the one and only mik300z.

Bacon Maple Bars

Because it’s high time someone did a bacon maple bar-themed episode of the literary fungus that is SuperMegaNet:

Mini, sitting on the tabletop and lapping the icing off his own maple bar, scowls and says, “I don’t understand how you keep that LA Fitness ass of yours in business.” To me: “All this guy eats is tacos, Top Ramen, and donuts. I feel fat just talking to him.”

“I’m virtual, remember?” Beta says.

“Oh. Right.”

“And I’m wearing a skin. I don’t have to worry about what I eat.”

“So, what do you really look like, then?” Mini pauses. “Please don’t say Jeff Albertson.”

The premise: Beta installs a custom skin for Jan in an attempt to help him cope with his lost bytes. Read the full episode here.

textingfail

Today’s teachable texting moment: Don’t jokingly use the words “suck” and “wang” in the same text unless you’re absolutely sure your friend’s ten-year-old son isn’t going to answer his phone for him. #textingfail

Wang Shui

New SuperMegaNet spotted in the wild:

“Good morning, Rip Van Winkle,” Dad says to me, looking oblivious enough. He’s watching the morning news on his smartphone while he finishes off a cup of green tea. “We were just about to send a recovery team up to your room.”

“I didn’t sleep well last night,” I say quietly.

Dad nods. “Did you feel the earthquake?”

Feel it? I caused it! “No.”

“Just before dawn. It was a real shaker. Nothing on the news about it, though. They never cover San Angelico.”

Mom disappears into the kitchen, returns with my breakfast: oatmeal, yogurt—and a big yellow banana. “Eat up, sweetie. We leave in five.” She sets the oatmeal and yogurt in front of me, fiddles with the banana in a vain attempt to make it look as non-phallic as possible, finally just lets it go and returns to her seat.

I stir my oatmeal, poke at my yogurt…glare at the banana.

The premise: Snapgrabbing is defined on the morning news. Oh, and Anya has The Talk with Theo on the way to school. Read the full episode here.