Urban Tactics

New SuperMegaNet episode posted over at that place where the cool kids aren’t allowed:

“There’s a police car right behind us!”

“It’s not right behind us. It’s at least several car-lengths away.”

“Like that matters? In a few seconds it’s going to sidle up alongside us, the cop’s going to flash his lights, blare his siren, tell us to pull over. He’ll ask to see some identification, I’ll show him my school ID, and that’ll be it. Handcuffs, the backseat of a squad car, overnight behind bars, Mom in tears when she shows up tomorrow morning with the $500,000 to bail me out in time for the hearing—”

“$500,000?” Ernie sneezes offensively; I can feel his mucus soaking through the fabric of my shirt. “Dude, don’t act like you’re worth anything less than a cool million.”

The premise: Mini improvises a diversion in order to avert a troublesome cop’s attentions—with unintended consequences. Read the full episode here.

Cake Snot

“My parents are outside.”

“Good—we got back just in time.”

“How’s that good?”

“It’s when they go back inside to check on you, that’s when you have to worry. Out here, they’re distracted by meaningless adult smalltalk. They’re not paying attention to anything but their own silent prayers that Nakayoshi will finally get into his car and drive home for the night. We can sneak in the back way.”

“There is no back way,” I say. “We have a side way.” I point to the side gate that leads into my parents’ backyard.

“Then we hop the fence. Piece of cake.”

“Yeah—a three-hundred-pound piece of cake.” I gesture at Ernie, who gives me the finger—and then proceeds to sneeze frosting. Or maybe it’s just snot. It’s hard to tell in the low light.

Either way: total grossness.

SuperMegaNet, unborn episode