No Substitutions

Looks like another SuperMegaNet episode just slipped past quarantine:

Look at Jan 2.0. The jockettes are all over him, oohing and awing and squeezing his biceps, palpitating his pecs, literally absorbing him like two giant girl-shaped amoebas. I’ve let them have that side of the table—not because they ousted me or anything, but because I prefer this side. Always have. And anyway, I don’t need to be all up in Janny Boy’s shit. So with his fancy new skin he’s ditched his ridiculous orange frizz for a natural brown buzzcut. So he’s sporting a pair of earring studs. So his physique is all American Ninja Warrior. I don’t see what the fuss is about. It’s not like he can turn water into soda or feed the entire cafeteria with a single loaf of Hawaiian bread.

Crap. I could go for a loaf of Hawaiian bread right about now.

The premise: The gang acclimates to having lunch with Virtual Jan. Meanwhile, Theo defends his decision not to buy Ernie any snacks. Read the full episode here.

Where in the World is Jan Kounicova?

New SuperMegaNet:

“To what do we owe the unpleasant surprise?”

“We thought Eva could use a little company,” Summer replies.

“She’s already got company—” The lid pops off of Ernie’s pudding cup; banana cream spurts into his face, infiltrating eyes, mouth, and nostrils.

Eva’s jaw drops.

“I meant company in the non-satirical sense,” Summer snickers.

Ernie sets down his now-empty pudding cup and, with as much dignity as one can muster while wearing impromptu facial food, asks, “Did you practice that in front of your mirror this morning?”

“Nope. Made it up on the spot.”

“Charming. Get me a napkin.”

The premise: An exploding pudding cup, a jockette ambush, and Virtual Jan—this is not the way Theo expected to spend his lunch hour. Read the full episode here.

Doing Vangelis Doing John Williams

The ET theme as done by Vangelis done by Muted Vocal

(Via Classic FM.)

I totally agree:

A YouTuber named Muted Vocal has decided that there’s no good reason why [ET’s “Flying Theme” and Vangelis’ “Chariots of Fire”] shouldn’t exist in perfect harmony, in the same piece. And who are we to argue?

And while Muted Vocal’s rendition is nothing to scoff at, as far as uber-talented Vangelis fanboys go, I’ll always have a special place in my heart for the one and only mik300z.

Bacon Maple Bars

Because it’s high time someone did a bacon maple bar-themed episode of the literary fungus that is SuperMegaNet:

Mini, sitting on the tabletop and lapping the icing off his own maple bar, scowls and says, “I don’t understand how you keep that LA Fitness ass of yours in business.” To me: “All this guy eats is tacos, Top Ramen, and donuts. I feel fat just talking to him.”

“I’m virtual, remember?” Beta says.

“Oh. Right.”

“And I’m wearing a skin. I don’t have to worry about what I eat.”

“So, what do you really look like, then?” Mini pauses. “Please don’t say Jeff Albertson.”

The premise: Beta installs a custom skin for Jan in an attempt to help him cope with his lost bytes. Read the full episode here.