Dunno what it’s supposed to mean, but here’s an air-headed journal entry for the heck of it:
If I seem a bit distant (well, more so than usual) lately, it’s because I’ve been spending more time in front of the computer—as if I don’t already waste too many sunny afternoons doing what writers do when they write. ;)
Indeed, with Colossal Theatre out to pasture, I’m doing more writing in my free time than never before. It’s mainly shopping lists and fan mail to Edgar Froese, but I’m also working on “Joshua’s Story,” which will most likely become TK #27 (The Knack) when it’s finished. While the majority of the story (up until this point) has built up Kyna’s intense hatred towards Joshua, this installment aims to delve a bit into the past, to explain the hows and whys of a love affair gone horribly wrong.
Hmm. “Love affair” seems a little too romantic to describe what really happened between the two. After all, when you’re a kid, what is love? A hormonal response? A classification for biological urges that inevitably lead to commitment, a family, a house in the suburbs—yet another combination of male/female DNA templates ultimately satisfying the human program to replenish itself indefinitely? Or is it something deeper, something that drives us all beneath the subtle machinery of our brains—without our conscious consent, most of the time—to figure out a way to become one somehow? Like all the atomically-charged particles buzzing about the universe, when left to our own device, we will eventually baseline.
The result? Harmony—or perhaps The End, an entropy gradually falling back in on itself and resulting in another Big Bang which will give birth to the next universe some twenty billion years from now (the number keeps changing)?
Sorry if I’m getting a little too philosophical here, but it’s been in the high nineties all day, and I’ve been writing about a group of teenagers who can’t seem to figure out why the hell they need each other. Don’t get me wrong: I always tend to write very personal stories, and enjoy doing so, but this is the first scenario in which I’m really taking the time to sit down with a bunch of characters and really getting to know them. Sure, my own experiences went into the pot, but you know the drill: give ’em to a bunch of make-believes (my fancy term for “imaginary folk,” or “fictitious characters”) and all bets are off.
I just shake my head and wonder why it seems to hold true in my story-writing (as it does in real life), that a painful experience lived through once is a painful experience repeated multiple times throughout one’s lifetime—albeit utilizing slightly different situations and people each time around. Big Bang one week, slow ride the next (and that’s not just a quip at the local dating scene), and Second Big Bang thereafter.
It’s what holds the tales together, I suppose. Were it not for such conflicts, such cyclic patterns displayed by my characters, well, I’d have written one story way back when, solved the mysteries behind opposite attraction, and been done with it. Which isn’t to say I aim to continue spewing out the same stereotypical personality flaws every time I stick a protagonist into some hackneyed plot; there’s always the risk of throwing together a group of characters for no apparent reason, but I nevertheless have to do it in the hopes I’m doing it right, lest I grow stagnant and cold with inactivity. And I guess that’s why Bryson, Kyna, and Joshua do the things they do: so as not to become dormant, dusty relics of their creator’s desk drawer.
In any case, I hope you have an interesting, somewhat formulaic (but ultimately satisfying) weekend.