Sausage Toes

Let me start off by saying that the only time swelling of a body part is a good thing is when it’s an erection. Anything else and you’re asking for pain, redness, blood, pus—all the icky things the human body can dribble at you when it’s not feeling quite right.

The weekend before last I had both edges of both my big toenails removed to alleviate a recurring ingrowing problem, and while my toes are feeling much better as of this writing, those first 72 post-op hours were absolute hell. The operation no doubt affects different people in different ways, but for me the pain was worse than when I had my wisdom teeth removed. And, just as with my wisdom teeth, the doctor-prescribed pain meds didn’t do a thing. Turns out 2 Tylenol every 6 hours did the trick—and the Tylenol didn’t turn my urine purple (the prescription pills did). Now, almost a week and a half later, the worst seems to have passed. I can lower my feet below my waistline without my toes throbbing; I can walk around the house without leaving bloody splotches on my socks; the gaping holes left by the surgery are now filling in with something that resembles skin. The only catch is to make sure I start buying shoes with ample toe space—I can assure you I’m going to be very picky from now on.

So, if I seem a little distant at the moment, that’s why. Give me another week or two and I should be back to my regular-moody self.

I’ve started writing again, a nice development considering all I was doing last week was reading a lot of books (finished Split Infinity, by Piers Anthony; read Summer of Night, by Dan Simmons, Going Local, by Michael H. Shuman) and watching a lot of DVDs (the complete Firefly series, as well as Serenity; Family Guy seasons 2-4, and The Honeymooners)…and playing a lot of outdated video games. Like Mario Kart 64. Did you know Peach is a bitch? And Toad can’t steer for shit. I also played Konami’s Super C for like the 250th time since September. It’s better with 2 players and the 10 men code, which works on the Wii, by the way. Thank God.

Anyway, that’s my little update for the week. I posted a new :( Text Message ;), so go have a read, and share your own memorable texts, if ya’ got ’em. Misery loves company.