Monthly Archives: July 2009

Super Cheater!

leepro's awesome rendering of a super cheater

If I’d known as a kid the cheat code to unlock the shortcut linked above (which is not actually from the game, but still a way-cool vector job nonetheless), I would have been so pimp.

Does anyone remember being small with fireballs? How about the minus world, or any other noteworthy glitch, for that matter? My contribution: When my brother and I were kiddies, we were playing the first level of Super Mario Bros. 2 and one of us accidentally jostled the NES—thereby turning the waterfalls into blood and the falling logs into evil-looking uprooted vegetables. That’s totally true, I swear. What’s still up for speculation is whether or not it was the vegetables that possessed my mom several months later when she took a hammer to our NES, shouting “Evil! Evil!” repeatedly.

Here she is offering her apology:

Motherflicker

In all honesty, it was probably better that the Nintendo went when it did. Otherwise I might have missed all those late night Star Trek marathons. That’s a good thing, right?

It’s All About Oatmeal

Coming to a pantry near you:

Oates...the high-fiber killer

Oates...the high-fiber killer

Now that the script is a go, I finally feel like I can start promoting The Oatmeal Man as more than just a constipated nightmare. This is one of those projects that gets me giggling like a schoolgirl just by hearing the title. It’s basically about what happens to a group of friends when they take an impulse trip to Las Vegas—via the I-40. Don’t ever go that frickin’ way. I don’t care if your boyfriend heard they filmed Vacancy somewhere around there. He’s lying just to get into your pants.

The Oatmeal Man is all about oatmeal…and blood. And maple syrup. And explosive diarrhea. It’s part of my new campaign to not give a shit anymore about what I write or why I write. “Fiction doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to taste good.” A traveling salesman told me that. I trust him.

More morsels and possibly a trailer when Sean, the film’s unquestioned master, flushes them out my end… (Ew, bad pun!)

My New Favorite GTK Engine: Candido

Simplicity is beauty:

A GNOME desktop theme using the Candido GTK engine

A GNOME desktop theme using the Candido GTK engine

I first discovered the Candido theme engine when I stumbled upon the excellent (and quite elusive) Carbon theme included with Linux Mint 7. Sorry, no link provided, as there’s not even an author name in the gtkrc file—which is a shame, because I’d love to thank the theme’s creator for whipping up such beautiful eye candy. My only complaint is that the default tooltips are an ugly gray. However, after browsing the web for several hours, I managed to find a solution. The overall results of using GNOME + Candido + Carbon + the gnome-colors icons have been enough to keep me salivating over my desktop (instead of working) for the last week.

GNOME users in search of a quick and clean interface: Candido is teh shiat.

Today Becomes Yesterday

A recent tweet / twit / twat (whatever the heck you call it) over at my Twitter page has got me thinking about the deaths of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Walter Cronkite, and many others. Not to be a gloomy Gus or anything, but all the heroes I grew up with are now either getting on in years or moving to permanent, subterranean boxed housing. I’ve found newer, younger heroes in the years since, but you know how it goes. They’re not the same. There will never be another Andre Norton, Ray Bradbury, Johnny Carson, Stanley Kubrick, or Vangelis.

Closer to home: There will never be another Aleksas Trotter, one of my creative consultants during the writing of Heroes’ Day, and a celebrity in his own right. I so wish he was still around to offer up his zany take on Make It or Break It.

Even closer to home: the deaths of two of my friends’ parents. One was a veritable bodybuilder in his early fifties; the other was a sunny, vibrant caretaker in her late forties. Sudden, unexpected cancer in both cases. Fucking cancer.

Not that I’m brooding over the above-mentioned subject matter (it just so happens I’m mentioning this in the same post), but I’ve decided to take a break from novel writing. With my previous publisher having gone under, I’m left to self-publish, and that’s just not economically feasible at the moment. Instead I’m going to focus on screenplays for the next year or so. My brother has a fancy camera, Adobe Premiere, and a slew of actor / model friends willing to work for cashews—but he needs a writer. I’ve volunteered. The logic is that since I can’t attract attention from the major publishers with my novels, maybe I can break into a Hollywood outhouse with one of my scripts. Or at least get an indie film made that can help promote my books and my brother’s production company. So, no new novels from me until late 2010, at the earliest, though I’m still going to experiment at random intervals with blog fiction (read: SuperMegaNet).

Goodbye OpenOffice, hello Celtx

(Oh, happy birthday, Sean!)

The Teletype

You think your shiny new laptop is pimpin’? Check out this beauty from 1968:

The Portable Teletype

The Portable Teletype

Without an introduction, you’d never know if the man in the picture was carrying a computer or a marionette doll in his case. One thing is for sure: If the mainframe ever went down, he could easily pass the time by using that thing to blast his deltoids. Oh, and his answer to the question posed in the Technologizer article linked above (“Wonder how the guy in the photo would have reacted if you’d shown him even the most mundane notebook from 2009?”): “Rubbish! You can’t work up a sweat with that!” ;)