Thanks, but No Thanks

I usually just delete spam whenever I spot it in my queue, but this offer, posted to the Time Chaser book page, warranted special attention. Read carefully:

Is not spam, it is only my commercial offer. Sorry if i mistake of topic!

Buy Chlamydia – Best testimonials. Buy now. Satisfaction is guaranteed.
Best price for brand and generic medications.
From $0.60 per item. Free Airmail shipping for Chlamydia 100mg 90 tabs and save $135 on order!

Testimonials or not, I most certainly will not be taking advantage of this offer. One, I’m really not interested in 100mg tabs of Chlamydia at the moment; two, I just hate e-mails that begin with the line, “Is not spam, it is only my commercial offer.” That’s almost as bad as, “I don’t mean to offend you, but [insert offensive statement here].” If you’re going to sell me Chlamydia, just come out and say, “I’d like to extend a special Chlamydia offer to you!” Don’t beat around the bush. Don’t try sneaking into an X-rated movie if you’re twelve and wearing a really cheesy beard. Don’t forget to spell-check your spam before you expel it from your rectum.

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