Monthly Archives: July 2010

Let us set our dicks aside…

Don't Be a Dick Day, 7-29-2010

So, it’s Don’t Be a Dick Day. That means I’m to sit in the corner all afternoon and think about what I’ve done. Namely all the blog entries I stole from teenage girls in order to compile Heroes’ Day. And how The Oatmeal Man was really a million-dollar-plus Paramount production before we fucked up in accounting and ended up owing a hundred grand. Because we were dicks.

Happy Don’t Be a Dick Day, and happy birthday, WHEEEATON!!!

Before video, vlogs were called blogs

The Oatmeal Man - Clive's Wallpaper

The Oatmeal Man Facebook page doesn’t have a new vlog this week, so I’m going to try something different, something called a “blog.” It’s basically a vlog without video. Kids used to do them all the time in the early days of the Internet. You know, the AOL days. No, I don’t know what AOL stands for, either.

As I said, this week’s The Oatmeal Man video blog is nonexistent. Why? I’ll tell you why: Director Sean is off with his crew preparing to shoot an extra scene for the movie. Why? I’ll tell you why again: During our most recent Oates sleepover / clothing-optional critiquing party, it was suggested that the current “festival cut” we have, while darned good-looking, is actually two distinct movies vying for domination. One is a buddy film about Clive and his friends; the other is a high-fiber horror flick that kicks in about halfway through. While the film works this way, Sean thinks (and I agree) that we can do better. The consensus is that we need to pick one angle over another and then run with it. We have, and that’s what Sean is working on. I’d go into further detail were it not for the leg-breaking clause in my contract.

In the meantime, Clive’s desktop wallpaper has been posted (click above for full-sized version). But that’s not really news unless you’re into pictures of foul-mouthed, cigarette-smoking dudes who like to watch porn while scarfing dollar cheeseburgers.

I know I say this every blog entry, but it’s true: we’re getting there. Sometimes seeing the same film every other day can desensitize you to the whole thing. Even so, I always find myself pleasantly surprised each time through. Like when it comes to ADR. I never knew filmmakers still did that, and I thought we were kind of cheating when Sean started bringing the actors and actresses in for voice work. Hearing the result, though, I can’t imagine that any good movie team out there doesn’t do at least a little ADR.

Interesting tidbit: John Karyus (who plays Eddie) is the only one who hasn’t done any ADR—but you’d never know it from the sound of him.

Enunciation is what separates the men from the boys. ;)

Bring to boil, stir occasionally

It never fails: You can have a computer sitting quietly in the corner, doing nothing, and it will purr right along for months on end. But the instant you actually need to use the effing thing, blue screens start popping up, hard drives start choking, keyboards start losing their keys like the needles on that old Christmas tree my family refuses to throw out. I’m actually writing this blog with quill and parchment, which seem to be the only things that work around here…though the quill may have bird flu. Fuck.

Technical glitches aside, there is progress being made as far as the movie is concerned. The “pre-festival cut” is now done, on DVD, in the mail, making grotesque gurgling noises in the back of some poor postman’s delivery truck. That means we’re another step closer to Premiere Day…whenever and wherever that is. In the meantime, Sean and I have been taking notes, and while there’s certainly room for improvement down the line, things are looking pretty darned smooth. All the ADR shit is done as of last week, and it’s really added a layer of depth to the proceedings, a hearty dollop of personality to the characters. And I have to say, the effects used in the opening grabber sequence look damned pimpin’. It totally doesn’t look like we shot it where we did and with what ridiculous resources we didn’t have.

What comes next is pretty boring to anyone outside the Pulsar Pictures cult. Submissions are being prepared, paperwork is being filed, voodoo dolls are being prepped as we figure out where the film will be seen, how it will be distributed, and so forth. The good news: There’s plenty of behind-the-scenes footage floating around. Hopefully enough to make it look like we’re busier than we actually are.

On that note, I’ve posted an impromptu interview we did of Moira Dennis (who plays Lisa) last month, during the filming of The Oatmeal Man’s final scene. Go watch it. And tell your friends.