Due to recent budget cuts…
- The silver lining has been replaced with pewter.
- “Someday” has been postponed until further notice.
- Wishing upon a star will be limited to 1 wish per household.
- The best things in life are now available for a small fee.
- We ask that you refrain from “hanging in there” until such time as repairs can be made.
- We’ve run out of sweet to go with the sour.
- The concepts of “fun” and “originality” have been banned from Hollywood until such time as they can be made more cost-effective.
- We request that couples make love using power-saving mode only.
- Non-subscribers will no longer be eligible to receive a free blessing with their disguise.
- We’ve been forced to increase our rates to a dollar a dozen.
- The full monty has been reduced to a three-quarters monty.