New Room

New SuperMegaNet posted. It goes something like this:

“Why not just watch straight porn in which both partners are equally hot?”

“Hot guys don’t have technique. And besides, the porn industry never casts hot guys. Hetero men are too afraid of being turned on by some gorgeous dude’s smokin’ meat. That’s why hetero porn stars are so grotesque—it’s to keep straight guys from getting sexually confused.”

“If you’re just going to use your imagination anyway,” I say, “then find straight porn that has a gross guy with great technique, and, er, substitute.”

“I’m comfortable with my system. What do you have against gay porn anyway?”

“I…nothing. It’s not the gay porn that’s…I just think I’m pretty sure that…” I try to work out in my head how to explain that I’ve seen straight porn starring attractive guys (not that I noticed or anything) without admitting that I’ve ever watched porn or noticed attractive guys before, but ultimately my brain forfeits, my belief suspending itself regarding this new musclebound variation of Kevin freaking Solo and his masturbatory habits. “Maybe the guys in straight porn are smokin’, but you just can’t tell because you’re straight.”

“Interesting theory. We should totally crowdfund a study.”

The premise: Sporting a newly-torrented skin, Beta divulges his rather unorthodox methods of keeping house…and consuming pornography. Read the full episode here.