Post-Traumatic Schlong Disorder

New SuperMegaNet:

I push the bathroom door open.

Inside, Theo’s put his clothes back on…more or less (his shirt’s inside out, and his pants look like they’ve found extra joints and crevices between his knees and hips). He’s kneeling slumped over the toilet bowl. His hair is mussed. There’s vomit running down his chin.

“What the hell happened to you?” I ask, stepping between puddles of puke (and what I sincerely hope is hand lotion) as I make my way to Theo’s side.

“I threw up,” he mumbles, dazed, half asleep, strung out on endorphins and rich, potent embarrassment.

“A less common way of finishing off a wank, I’ll give you that.”

The premise: Mini consoles Theo after a disasterous wank by informing him that he’s scored a 3/3 on his mom’s Parental Checklist. Read the full episode here.