Tag Archives: fail

textingfail

Today’s teachable texting moment: Don’t jokingly use the words “suck” and “wang” in the same text unless you’re absolutely sure your friend’s ten-year-old son isn’t going to answer his phone for him. #textingfail

Not the Good Kind of Full-Frontal

Randy Marsh and his...ectoplasm

(Image via nscarr.)

Beloved pr0n site YouPorn has, through an embarrassing data breach, inadvertently forced its users to go full-frontal. This choice quote from the Neowin article pretty much sums it up:

In an odd twist of fate, YouPorn finally found a way to literally screw its users.

This is basically the online equivalent of that time when you were twelve years old and you thought you’d closed the bathroom door all the way, but you really hadn’t, and the family dog nosed it wide open at the exact moment you achieved the biggest orgasm of your life, and your mother saw everything, and that’s what gave her the hysterical blindness that eventually led to her divorcing your dad because every time he wanted to make love she’d get violently ill.

Boy, am I glad I only ever indulge in 30-second free preview porn clips.

The Almost-GPL Cereal

I've always wanted to try an open-source cereal

Grocery shopping is what I do when I want to pretend I’m too busy to work on my various novel / screenplay projects. Today was Fresh & Easy day. I don’t even like frosted flakes, but somehow a box of Mother’s Joy brand sugar-frosted flakes wound up in my shopping cart. While certainly not my first choice for breakfast, Mother’s Joy is actually slightly less offensive when compared to that other leading brand, and has BHT in the packaging only (if that sort of thing concerns you). Most important: Tux, the lovable Linux mascot, is on the box. It’s the closest I’ll ever get to eating an open-source breakfast cereal. Speaking of which, the source code can be found on the side of the box, listed under “ingredients.” L33t eating.

From the What the Fuck? department:

The lesson here: video games based on Olympic sports are just plain ludicrous. Odds are you’d stand a better chance at actually becoming a world-class athlete than you would at being able to play QWOP effectively (iPhone version coming soon!).

I am an evil human being for liking this video

(No, I’m not going to tell you how many times I’ve replayed it.)

A quick update: I’m still working to meet various deadlines, so no new SuperMegaNet episodes just yet. No new nothing just yet, actually. I did hear that the technical glitches affecting the Smashwords versions of my e-books have been resolved, so if you’ve purchased anything for your e-reader and been less-than-satisfied, try downloading the updated version(s). Free of charge, of course.

Now, please enjoy this darling kid fail compilation:

NewTwitter Makes Babies Cry

(The following is more entertaining when you imagine it’s being read by someone with a snooty English accent.)

Preliminary thoughts on the new Twitter design: fail. The favorite and retweet emblems at the top-left of each tweet are awkward-looking and less-obvious than in the previous design. While technically handy, having profile icons for each and every tweet quickly becomes repetitive. Oh, and clicking a username in the timeline opens a sidebar instead of taking me directly to the user’s profile. Doesn’t the arrow in the upper-right corner of each tweet perform a very similar function? In my mind clicking a user’s name should take me the fuck to their page; this new setup adds an extra click to the process…which really only adds an extra layer of protection when I accidentally click the username of a zombie sex fetishist. Then there’s the fact that you now have to manually refresh your profile page if you want to see your latest tweets. But I’m not going to throw a fit over that. I am going to throw a fit over Twitter’s design crew throwing the rule of thirds out the window.

See, the problem with New Coke—I mean, New Twitter—isn’t that it’s more cluttered or overly complicated. It only looks that way because it’s not following the rule of thirds. The rule of thirds is one of your basic design / composition techniques. Not only does it make the best of potential white space, it gives your eyes an immediate focus upon first looking at a picture, a video, a Web page, etc. Before, when you visited a Twitter profile, your eyes were immediately drawn to the tweeter’s most recent tweet, right up there at the top of the easily distinguishable “main” column in big, bold letters. NewTwitter presents you with two columns of nearly identical width; your eyes don’t quite know where to look at first. For that split second you’re thinking, “Who am I? What am I doing here? Should I switch to PornTube?” There’s no main focus. NewTwitter pages look too busy, even though they’re really not. It’s an optical illusion of the worst kind.

It’s like the Gap design crew got drunk, crashed a Twitter slumber party, and fucked with their master files. Gap fixed its own mistake. Will Twitter do the same?