Tag Archives: life

I thought there’d be pizza…

I thought there'd be pizza...

(Via Dude Perfect.)

I tend to think a lot about life, the universe and everything, and how it all might’ve worked out differently. Not that I’m complaining in the least, but, well…I thought I’d be taller. I thought I’d have mastered the six-pack by now, or, at the very least, enough of the arm, shoulder, and pec areas so as to direct attention away from my abdomen altogether. I thought for sure the 1990’s was enough time for George Lucas and Steven Spielberg to come up with a fourth Indiana Jones film—instead of a twenty-years-later sequel involving UFOs and computer-generated monkeys. I thought that hard work always paid off rather than hard workers getting laid off. I thought we’d have flying cars by the year 2015, thank you very much, Back to the Future. I thought Enterprise would make it past season 4. I thought Windows 8 would be better than Windows 7. I thought the Affordable Healthcare Act meant healthcare would be affordable. I thought muffins were just cupcakes without frosting. I dunno…

…I thought there’d be a lot more, you know, pizza. ;)

Retro Flask

NES game cartridge flask.

(Via Ink Whiskey.)

For the drunken inner child in us all: A company called Ink Whiskey has filled a much-needed niche by creating a line of novelty NES game cartridges that are in fact flasks. There was even a successful Kickstarter at one point.

Proof that anything can and should be turned into a flask.

Go Do Something

You don't have to go fast, you just have to go.

(Via The Body Department.)

Do something you’ve been putting off, whether it’s jogging around the block, doing a few sets with those nearly-forgotten weights under your bed, dancing in the rain, singing in the shower, acting in a play, or producing your own puppet show. Paint a portrait, travel to a foreign land—or merely down the street to the local park. Learn to play the banjo. Invent a new sandwich called the “Jesse Eisenburger.” Write a story, a novel, a letter to your mom. Take up Yoga. Push the living room furniture aside and build a miniature metropolis out of Legos and Lincoln Logs. Invent a new board game with your kids. Host your very own Catch Phrase Championships with friends. Live, love—

go.

Grasshopper and Grandmaster

Master: Sit.

Grasshopper: Where?

Master: There.

Grasshopper: I don’t see a chair.

Master: Chair is there if you believe it is there.

Grasshopper sits, falls through thin air.

Master (chuckling): You did not believe chair was there.

Rock beats scissors, of course

Ernie: As humans, we laud our own superiority as the dominant species on the planet, we point out how civilized we are, how much more advanced we are than the animals and insects. But in matters of war we revert to the basic level of bacteria. Stronger defeats weaker, style over substance, beauty before wisdom. Why is that?

Theo: Simple. Rock beats scissors.

Ernie (scowling): Have you no philosophical depth at all??

SuperMegaNet, unborn episode

Channel 3

Channel 3...video games

(Via Amanda Blain.)

I too grew up in an era when…

  • …the only way to properly front-load an NES game was to stuff several slices of Wonder Bread between the cartridge and the upper cabinet.
  • …you had to flip the tape over to finish listening to an album, and the term “Walkman” wasn’t merely a part of speech used by children asking their parents what they listened to before MP3s.
  • …it was okay to be a guy and to wear skintight pink jeans.
  • HBO’s Feature Presentation intro was more fun than the movie it preceded.
  • …texting someone in class meant scribbling a note on a piece of paper and asking the kid sitting next to you to pass it along before the teacher saw.
  • …Jay Leno’s hair was more pepper and less salt.
  • …children asked for actual dogs for Christmas (and not Nintendogs).
  • …you left the TV on overnight during the winter as a cheaper alternative to traditional indoor heating.
  • …Phil Collins was the shit.
  • …Facebook was just a no-no left behind in one of Mark Zuckerberg’s diapers.
  • Omni Magazine still walked the Earth.

The 80’s are dead. Long live the 80’s.

Breaksleep

Crazy Metro - I snore, I break, I sleep.

(Via Crazy Metro.)

Because I’ve totally done this before:

Ever had those days where you were tired from work, school or doing an assignment. And you slept with your eye glasses on? then the moment you felt something while you were asleep,. you found out that your eye glasses were broken…

Just as annoying: falling asleep on the TV remote so that the weight of your thunder thighs pressing on the “channel up” button for eight hours straight ends up completely draining the batteries—to say nothing of conking out with your laptop in your arms, only to wake up the next morning to find it lying on the floor. Face down. With the disc drive fully ejected.

Dear gravity: sometimes I hates you.