Tag Archives: literature

Animatronic Ventriloquism

I don’t have much time for writing these days, but when I do, I like to check in on the comings and goings of Theo and the boys. Ie, a new SuperMegaNet episode has been posted over at the Bermuda Triangle of the Internet.

Obligatory excerpt:

…I quietly and carefully reach into my pocket, pull out an old receipt. I crumble it, toss it over my shoulder.

“What was that?” Jan asks.

“My dignity,” I reply.

“On a piece of paper?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” A pause. “Is that an American thing?”

“No,” Mini replies on my behalf. “It’s a pompous southern-Californian thing.”

“It was to make a point,” I clarify.

“It was also littering.”

The premise: Bummed about having to smuggle Ernie, Jan, and Mini home after curfew, Theo finds inspiration in the motivational cornucopia that is Surf Ninjas. Read the full episode here.

Sleep-Write

Famous Writers’ Sleep Habits

(Via Brain Pickings.)

Maria Popova, Wendy MacNaughton, and the creative team at Accurat have designed a nifty visualization of writer wakeup times as related to their overall productivity—for no other reason than to express an endless fascination with authors and the way they write.

The most important point, perhaps, is a meta one: A reminder that no specific routine guarantees success, and the only thing that matters is having a routine and the persistence implicit to one.

In other words, the more you write, the more likely you are to continue writing, and the higher the possibility that you will one day be paid for it.

Happy Towel Day

Don't panic and carry a towel

May 25th, besides being May 25th, is also Towel Day. It’s also the day I posted this link to six life lessons as gleaned from the various utterings of Marvin, the proto-emo robot dude from Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series.

Happy Towel Day—to which Marvin would no doubt respond, “Oh, not another one.”

In Ernie’s Time of Dying

I’m still lagging this month, but have nevertheless managed to squeeze out a new SuperMegaNet episode despite tax season, the time change, and the heady pleasures of book formatting.

Obligatory excerpt:

Putting Mini in my pocket, I ascend the final ladder and climb onto the topmost platform, where Ernie lies wrecked.

(Before we go any further, I should point out that Ernie is by no means a polite or gentle snorer. He’s one of those people who sleeps with his head thrown back and his mouth wide open, the most horrendous gurgling, choking, and wheezing noises emanating from somewhere deep down inside his throat. There are literally Z’s rising above his head. How his body is getting enough oxygen is beyond me.)

I crawl over to where he is. His sleeping bag is bundled tight—like a cocoon—and his neatly-parted hair glistens with some kind of viscous pomade. His shirt collar is buttoned tight around his neck. “Ernie?” I whisper, poking him.

The premise: Theo struggles to come to terms with Mrs. Womack’s “death,” as well as the whole perceptive flux thing in general. Meanwhile, Mini suggests a radical, sexy miracle cure for Ernie’s mystery illness. Read the full episode here.

Honkey Kong

Recycled / pasted together from various Facebook status updates and craftily passed off as my own original work, SuperMegaNet ep. 7.2, “Honkey Kong,” is now live over at that place where all the dead sea lions washed up.

Obligatory excerpt:

“Oh, for crying out—to hell with both of you!” Mini scampers onto the ground and starts across the driveway. “I’ll take care of this myself!”

I watch him go, toddling, tripping, cursing, toddling some more, tripping again…and I realize he’s destined for doom. Even if he makes it all the way to the top of Mrs. Goodale’s girder palace, what then? Throw Ernie over his shoulder and book like the dickens? Fight Mrs. Goodale to the death? Either way he’s going to be crushed—and I’ll admit, while part of me would like to be rid of the plushness, another more exasperating part is wondering: What happens to me if Mini dies? Does a part of me die, too? Do I die?

The premise: Theo battles Mrs. Goodale—er, Womack—atop an 8-bit girder palace. Read the full episode here.

Lost Bytes

I’m not going to pretend it hasn’t been forever since my last SuperMegaNet post. I’m not even going to post a list of boring, I-was-too-busy-earning-my-daily-bread excuses (and there are plenty). What I will do is announce the releasing of episode 7.1 unto the interwebs—my first crack at making good on my New Year’s resolution of actually writing more often. Of course, since I only did seven episodes last year, I’d theoretically have to write a mere eight this year to fulfill my own expectations. Small goals. ;)

Obligatory excerpt:

“There’s good news and bad news,” Mini says to Jan. “The good news is that you’re not dead. Thankfully Robbie’s pedophone had progressive downloading enabled. Your whole body was downloaded in multiple passes of increasing resolution instead of at full-res from top to bottom. Otherwise, you might have materialized on this end a lifeless torso with a smoldering stump where your head should be. Or an upper torso without legs. Or—”

I cut Mini off with a squeeze. “I think he gets the idea.”

The premise: Theo arrives at the shopping plaza to find that Jan has downloaded in one piece. Well, sort of. Read the full episode here.

The Pixel Monster

From the Stranger Things Have Happened department, a new episode of that ridiculous webserial you’ve never heard of has been posted by way of electrified hypertext.

Obligatory excerpt:

I glance at my phone. My SuperMegaNet buddy list is empty. In its place: the word “disconnected,” accompanied by a suicidal-looking emoticon wearing the saddest frown you ever saw. Pushing the app into the background, I try calling Jan, try texting him via good ol’ fashioned SMS—because I want to know if he’s all right, and because I can’t pick him up if I don’t know where he is.

I look at Beta. “Isn’t there something you can do?”

“I could do a search for ‘GPS hacking’ on YouTube,” he suggests.

I frown. “Not helpful.”

The premise: Theo grudgingly teams up with Mini to find Jan…who may or may not still be in one piece on the other end of a botched download. Read the full episode here.

No Copies Allowed

Looks like another SuperMegaNet episode is out. In Otto’s own words, “You think you get them all, but you forget about the eggs.” And so forth.

Obligatory excerpt:

Okay, so, if a plush manifestation of your spunk gets hit by a car, do you feel the impact?

Regardless of the answer, I brace myself, squeezing my eyes shut, gritting my teeth, and going rigid from head to toe. Just so I’ll be ready when it hits me. Which, it turns out, it doesn’t. There’s no physical pain or discomfort, only the social awkwardness of having just performed an impromptu constipation impression—for no reason—in front of Beta…and the fact that my butt crack has inadvertently swallowed the seat of my pants.

Which is what happens when you flex too hard.

The premise: Jan at last downloads into Theo’s bedroom—only to find that he’s not welcome. Sort of. Read the full episode here.