Tag Archives: wtf

Not the Good Kind of Full-Frontal

Randy Marsh and his...ectoplasm

(Image via nscarr.)

Beloved pr0n site YouPorn has, through an embarrassing data breach, inadvertently forced its users to go full-frontal. This choice quote from the Neowin article pretty much sums it up:

In an odd twist of fate, YouPorn finally found a way to literally screw its users.

This is basically the online equivalent of that time when you were twelve years old and you thought you’d closed the bathroom door all the way, but you really hadn’t, and the family dog nosed it wide open at the exact moment you achieved the biggest orgasm of your life, and your mother saw everything, and that’s what gave her the hysterical blindness that eventually led to her divorcing your dad because every time he wanted to make love she’d get violently ill.

Boy, am I glad I only ever indulge in 30-second free preview porn clips.

Really Weird Game Controllers

An unfortunate accessory injured in the Great Game Console War

An unfortunate accessory injured in the Great Game Console War

It just so happened I was watching the Angry Video Game Nerd’s rant regarding the Atari 5200 when I spotted this blog entry in my feed reader this afternoon. There are some really, really weird video game accessories out there.

Like this one:

The Dream Machine: for when you just don't feel like dating women anymore

The Dream Machine: for when you just don't feel like dating women anymore

The interesting thing about this one is the pic itself. The perspective is all wrong. What kind of effed up house does this family live in? Apparently, when turned on, the Dream Machine can warp reality as well as repel twelve different kinds of coolness.

It’s not all bad news, though:

The perfect controller

The perfect controller

Some designs are simply flawless. ;)

Thanks, but No Thanks

I usually just delete spam whenever I spot it in my queue, but this offer, posted to the Time Chaser book page, warranted special attention. Read carefully:

Is not spam, it is only my commercial offer. Sorry if i mistake of topic!

Buy Chlamydia – Best testimonials. Buy now. Satisfaction is guaranteed.
Best price for brand and generic medications.
From $0.60 per item. Free Airmail shipping for Chlamydia 100mg 90 tabs and save $135 on order!

Testimonials or not, I most certainly will not be taking advantage of this offer. One, I’m really not interested in 100mg tabs of Chlamydia at the moment; two, I just hate e-mails that begin with the line, “Is not spam, it is only my commercial offer.” That’s almost as bad as, “I don’t mean to offend you, but [insert offensive statement here].” If you’re going to sell me Chlamydia, just come out and say, “I’d like to extend a special Chlamydia offer to you!” Don’t beat around the bush. Don’t try sneaking into an X-rated movie if you’re twelve and wearing a really cheesy beard. Don’t forget to spell-check your spam before you expel it from your rectum.